As a copywriter and marketer, I support my fellow colleagues in their sales endeavors. We all have to make a living and support our businesses. But there is always that one email that leaves me shaking my head.
Yesterday I received an email from a professional copywriter and marketer. First, I have never heard of this guy. I possibly could have opted-in to his list months ago, but this is the first correspondence I received from him.
What was the big turn-off? I can sum it up in one word - ego. He reeled me in with "So can I ask your opinion?" Sure, I'll give you my opinion. However, I stopped reading after the first paragraph. The email was all about HIM and how he's made millions of dollars for his clients. I scanned the length of the email, and it was at least five pages (possibly more). In the first paragraph, he made excuses as to why he hadn't sent emails lately. He was just too busy to bother with us lowly people, because he was too busy making other "cool" people rich. Yeah, that will win a lot of people over to your side with that kind of bragadocious tone.
Not only was the sales pitch riddled with his ego, but it was poorly written. He calls himself a copywriter and professional marketer, and claims he knows the biggies like Michael Masterson and Clayton Makepeace.
His email turned me off, and I definitely did not want to find out more about his marketing course he was trying to sell. He lost me at hello! After my experience with this email sales pitch, it made me realize (once again) that we only have a few split seconds to make a good impression.
In email campaigns that involve sales pitches, I suggest you avoid the following:
1. Don't turn your email into a "brag book." Testimonials from clients are great, but I didn't see one testimonial in his email. I would have been more impressed if he had actual testimonials from his million-dollar clients -- instead of him bragging up and down about how he's been so busy with these clients.
2. Offer to HELP people and be genuine! Did he offer me a free report on how I could make more money? No. Did he offer me a free consultation to discuss my marketing goals? No.
3. Do NOT write dissertation-length emails. Who has time to read ten pages worth of copy? My head was swimming as I scrolled down his email. Far too much copy for one email!
4. Break up key points by using bullet points, boxes, or different colors/fonts.
5. Use a CLEAR Call to Action. I scrolled to the end of his email, and I couldn't find a succinct Call to Action, Did he just want my opinion or did he want me to buy his course? Or both? I was lost in his jumble of words, and I couldn't pinpoint a clear message -- what the heck did he want me to do?
As a result, I unsubscribed from his email list, and I sent him constructive comments as to why I unsubscribed. Maybe he'll take my comments to heart and realize he needs to dial back his ego (or maybe not).
Bravado and rambling, confusing sales pitches just won't cut it anymore. People can smell a fake a mile away, and based on his email tone alone I wouldn't spend my hard-earned money on his course. He didn't give me a good enough reason to invest in him or the course he's offering. I'm not downplaying his expertise. He could be the best marketer in the world, but how would I know that based on his rambling, all-about-me email?